Friday De-Fluff: Binkley Gets Shaved

meowser-48.jpg posted by meowser

I KNOW I LOOK RIDICULOUS SHUT UP SHUT UP

Poor Mr. Binkley, my poor big fat fluffmonster of a kitty. He has such a hard time reaching around to his back and flanks and between his legs, he just became covered with mats. Unlike both of his brothers, he hates to be combed (I guess I can’t blame him, given all the clumps in his coat) and I finally had to call a mobile groomer to deal with them, and Binks wound up getting sheared like a sheep. He actually seems more comfortable than when he was covered in mats, although he is seeking out warm spots more than he used to.

I actually caught myself feeling guilty at “letting” Binkley get so fat he couldn’t clean himself properly. He does weigh about 20 pounds, but I think most cat diet food is garbage, so I feed him Wellness wet food and Innova Evo Ancestral dry food, both grain-free, at the “normal size” adult cat doses (no free feeding any more), and he weighs whatever he weighs, screw it. But is he really “obese,” or is he just BIG? I tend to think the latter. He was big even as the 12-week-old kitten he was when I got him — twice the size of most cats his age, already with an adult-sounding meow and purr. I asked the vet then, “Are you SURE he’s only 3 months old?” The vet answered, “Yes, we go by the teeth.”

In his shaved state, you can see that he has a belly, but personally, I think he’d have trouble cleaning himself even without it. As the groomer put it, “He doesn’t have a lot of loose skin.” Of course, the last vet he saw slapped the O-tag on him (and on his baby brother Zevon, who is also 20 pounds and built like an oil tanker with fur) — vets, I suppose, have a “standard” for what a cat is supposed to weigh, and it’s not even as sophisticated as human BMI, length and height isn’t even taken into consideration. I got a big lecture about giving them the diet food so they won’t get the DIABEEEETUS, but you know what? Fuck that noise. They’re cats. They’re supposed to have a diet of mostly meat — as the holistic vet who treated my third cat, Pendo, for his cardiomyopathy put it, “Cats should be eating mice, not rice” — and those diet foods are just pure filler. I find it hard to believe that these foods are DIABEEEETUS preventatives for our feline friends, sorry. (And I want it noted that Pendo is the smallest of the three — he weighs about two-thirds what his brothers do — and has the biggest health issues.)

Anyway, Binkley would probably have an easier time cleaning himself if he WAS mostly fat. You wanna see a picture of a truly FAT (irresistible) cat? Here she is.

That’s Summertime, XH’s and my cat by way of my late MIL (now living with XH). Don’t you just want to dive in? And she’s CLEAN AS A WHISTLE. Even between her legs. I miss her and her Garfield beanbagness. (And as an added bonus, she loves LASAGNA! No, you really can’t make this shit up.)

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16 Responses to “Friday De-Fluff: Binkley Gets Shaved”

  1. AndyJo Says:

    Sweet kitties!

    I had a wonderfully fat kitty named Pepe. He was built like a Sherman tank and had four short legs that became almost solid columns if he didn’t want someone (or something) to get close to him. He’d just push them away.

    He lived to be all of 19 years old before he passed on, and no diabetes at all. The vet said he was too fat, we put him on a diet, and he promptly moderated his activity so he would remain PERFECTLY THE SAME!!! He was homeostasis exemplified.

    So… The vet just shrugged and we all moved on. He was just big. His worst problem was a bit of arthritis. He also was a bit too chunky to clean his nether bits, so we had to brush him “back there”, but he was a truly happy cat who would sit Buddha-like on the couch and look at us through slitted eyes.

    I miss the little guy. Well, big guy. Never an alpha, always a beta, but he trained up all kittens to fight and play. That’s how he kept up his “fighting trim”.

    Here’s to all the fat kitties…

    –Andy Jo–

  2. Quasi Says:

    I have also been called the “o” name. I’m not fat, I tell you! I’m big boned. Please let Binkley know that he now looks like a strong, healthy lion. BTW, I’d like to tell you that I’ve written a scathingly funny book, The World Is Your Litter Box, which will be out May 6th. The book is cleverly disguised as a cute cat book so humans will buy it, but is, in fact, a how-to manual FOR cats. Check it out on my website, http://www.theworldisyourlitterbox.com.

  3. Meowser Says:

    Quasi, that is some funny shit. You are one smart kitty.

  4. 32-P Says:

    I laughed out loud when I saw the photo of the cat… my ex had a black-and-white cat who looked EXACTLY like Binkley, and who was probably about the same weight, and she ended up ‘sheared like a sheep’ every six months or so. And she always went around in a sulk afterwards, with the flurf of mane and the little bit of fluff on the tail like a lion. You didn’t ‘let’ Binkley get fat, he’s just a big cat. I’m now starting to suspect it’s just a big breed. And he’s still cute as a button. 🙂

  5. Sara Says:

    Mr. Binkley, I can totally identify!

  6. Meowser Says:

    Hey Sara, I’m glad you’re feeling better! Welcome back!

  7. mochaquest Says:

    What cute little kitties. Lucky to those who can have their own pets. I am, too bad not allowed to have one. Time commitments are crucial.

  8. kate217 Says:

    I got the “your cat needs to lose half a pound” lecture at the vet this weekend. The vet, concerned that the cat has only three legs and the weight distribution would complicate arthritis wants me to “exercise” my cat. She suggested using a laser pen and couldn’t believe my assertion that Stinky just looks at me as if to say “yeah, so, it’s a light. How does that affect me?” I didn’t tell her “no way in hell am I starving my cat, who doesn’t eat that much now,” but I was thinking it pretty loudly.

    Quasi, I get a dental implant on May 7, so I’ll be reading your book to my fuzzy overlord and lady to help me recuperate.

  9. Meowser Says:

    Aw, Kate217, Stinky is TEH KEWT! And it’s so true, some cats don’t go for the laser pointer at all. Binkley, in fact, will stare at his brothers running after the dot like, “Ehhh, it’s just a DOT, I don’t know what THEIR problem is.” Once in a while I’ll catch him getting into it, but if I had to depend on that thing for his exercise, he’d barely move at all.

    But the Cat Dancer? That, he can’t resist. Haven’t met a kitty yet who could. (Binkley’s still fat, though.)

  10. Mustella Says:

    Meowser, we had for 18 years a beautiful long-haired grey cat, who was on the skinny side almost her whole life, until she began to get some middle-age spread around 15. She also had to be shaved at least once a year- her fur was simply too long and dense for her to cope with by herself. Her weight had nothing to do with it. Most long-haired cats who wont’t allow their human slaves to brush them will end up with mats. They are like dreds- it depends on hair type, not on body type.

  11. littlem Says:

    Very chic.

    Mr. Binkley looks very Dolce & Gabbana with his shave, and Summertime looks very Roberto Cavalli.

  12. Meowser Says:

    Mr. Binkley looks very Dolce & Gabbana with his shave, and Summertime looks very Roberto Cavalli.

    Yeah, and they know it too.:-P

  13. spacedcowgirl Says:

    My cat is also on the larger side (I think she’s about 14 lbs.) and my friends drive me nuts on the topic of her weight. I have mentioned before that she’s “long,” which she truly is, and my one friend in particular will just smirk and shake his head, like “look at the poor delusional fat cat owner, doesn’t want to admit her kitty is obese. This is what’s wrong with America.” OK, maybe I’m exaggerating with that last part. But people who smirk about other people’s fat pets drive me insane. Certainly if a pet is fat because they’re eating too many human foods that aren’t good for them, or because a dog’s owner can never be bothered to walk him, or whatever, then I feel sad for the pet. But you don’t know that just by looking at them. Lord knows I have mentioned to my supercilious friend numerous times how much my cat eats and apparently he still doesn’t believe me. Of course he believes everything he’s fed about the obesity epidemic too, so there you go. He’s one of my best friends, but I kind of want to hit him when this topic comes up.

    And you know, my cat probably is somewhat overweight, but I don’t particularly care. She used to get dry skin flakes at the base of her tail and our vet informed me that it was because she was too fat to clean herself there. Then I switched her to Felidae food because of the pet food recall and because around that time, I was starting to learn from another vet that her frequent ear infections (just like Mommy in that regard!) might be due to a food allergy. And lo and behold, once she started eating a food that she is apparently not allergic to, the dandruff cleared up. Way to do your job, first vet. I can see where veterinary medicine is going the same lazy route as human medicine where you blame it on the fat first and clean up any mess resulting from your error later. Maybe. If you feel like it. After all, you can probably get away with blaming that on the patient too.

    Anyway, she “free feeds” and only eats maybe 1/3 cup of food a day, so whatever. If she were gobbling down all her food and begging for more–which she once did for the span of about 4 or 5 days after I accidentally put in too much of her steroid ear medicine; it was so weird, but then she went back to normal–then I’d start portioning it out, but as it is, I can’t imagine most thin cats eating any less.

    AND, even if she weighed 20+ lbs., I maintain that she would still be a hell of a lot healthier and happier than most stray cats, or cats that roam outside and get diseases or kidnapped or run over in the road or pregnant every year until they die.

  14. Karrie Says:

    Actually, I’m not sure if it’ll help Binkley but I heard of a really effective de-shedding tool called the Furminator. There’s tons of videos of it in use on Youtube. It basically removes the dead undercoat without damaging the top coat.

    Binkley is lots of kittylove!

  15. HAES for Kittehs « fat fu Says:

    […] few months ago, I told you all about Binkley, my icon-kitty. Now I’d like you to meet Zevon. (Yes, named after Warren.) He’s 4-1/2, […]

  16. [fat fu] HAES for Kittehs Says:

    […] few months ago, I told you all about Binkley, my icon-kitty. Now I’d like you to meet Zevon. (Yes, named after Warren.) He’s 4-1/2, […]


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